The last two weeks were hard to settle. It took days for me to stop looking over my shoulder waiting for the next bad thing—scary texts, horrible calls, more bad news. No one likes living with uncertainty, so I’m really glad to report that I just got off a call with Anita and we now have a plan. She told me she’s staying the full 60 days, and if it were possible, she’d even do 90. That’s how helpful this has been for her.

We weren’t actually supposed to talk for two weeks after she went in, but around day 9 I got a call that threw me for a loop. She was in tears and very emotional—listing complaint after complaint, admitting to some bad behaviour, and begging to come home. I sat and listened, called the woman in charge, talked it through with a friend who has been through a similar situation, and then asked that friend to call Anita. It was actually quite scary to consider that the whole thing would fall apart so quickly.

After some frantic calling, she agreed to stay, and today’s call was much, much more positive. Apparently those calls are pretty normal when someone is in her situation: new place, new people, new rules, and all the harmful coping mechanisms suddenly gone. There’s no way to self-harm or act out there, so something had to give. As we talked, I realized a lot of what was beneath it was the fear that I might leave her while she was “locked away.” I told her, plainly, I’m not going anywhere. That reassurance changed her attitude considerably, and things have been a lot better since.

Why Valiant Is Different (In Her Words & Mine)

Anita says Valiant is more caring, positive, validating, and healing than any place she’s been over the many years she’s been seeking treatment. In other environments the doctors and counsellors are busy, stressed, rushed, and don’t have time to talk. The patient population can be much more disturbed and there is more temptation, backstabbing, mean comments, and drama. That’s not the case at Valiant. There’s a sense of camaraderie and positivity. Even in two weeks, she’s had revelations about her behaviour and trauma that haven’t happened before.

For context: Anita struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder (emotions are very hard to regulate; behaviour can become erratic) and she also has ADHD (which makes it hard to communicate when time-pressed). I’ve watched her fill pages of notes for short appointments because she wants to get it all out and then leave feeling like she barely scratched the surface. At Valiant, she actually has the time—time for her circular conversations to come back to the point, time for processing, and people who take the time to listen. That simply doesn’t happen in regular counselling, and certainly not in a hospital.

A Day in the Life (what she’s actually doing)

She really likes the groups—she feels validated that others struggle too, there’s a path forward, everyone is encouraging, and there is real hope. The place is busy and fluid, so schedules aren’t super rigid (which can frustrate someone who likes structure), but the quality of care more than makes up for that.

As she’s been settling, I’ve sent some necessary things via Amazon (hooray for next-day shipping) and a friend who made a special trip (clothes, pillows, self-care supplies). I’ll be ordering a few more items soon. She summarized a “typical day” like this:

• Wake early
• Writing & journaling
• Walks in the forest near a lovely bog with the group (or another activity)
• Eating well (better than she has in a long time—“I could never afford to eat like this at home”)
• Lots of talk therapy (individual and group)
• Some spiritual care
• In bed by 9 as she works to get back to using her CPAP

What’s Next?

ASAP – Pay for the 60 Days: We’re at almost $27,000 raised, but taxes and the cost of Anita’s celiac diet were not included in the original figure, so the total bill is closer to $30,000. I’ll send the final payment soon, but I’ll need to pull $3,000+ out of my own savings to make it happen—so I really need people to continue to give.

Every bit helps—especially since I’m not streaming right now and a huge portion of my income is donor-based. Here are a few ways people have been helping:

• GiveSendGo will continue to accept donations and Chantal says she’ll send them to me as they come in.
• Some people have sent support via PayPal (paypal.me/CarnivoreTheology) and Interac e-transfer.
• One of the best ways to support our family through this is to become a monthly donor through my official Alliance New Ventures site (you’ll receive a tax receipt):
  https://thealliancecanada.ca/gift/allan-descheneau-xtianninja

October 1 – My sabbatical ends: Day 9 set me back emotionally, and waiting for the two-week mark weighed on me. Hearing that she’s responding well, having a positive experience, and wants to stay is a massive relief and an answer to prayer. Oct 1 feels so close because it wasn’t until today that I really felt like I could relax. Then I’m back to my regular streaming and meetings schedule.

November 9 – End of 60 days: It’s actually the day I arrive home from Reach Conf, which is very good planning by God. If you want to help me get to Florida and the TACO Team serve the creators there, here’s that link.

After Anita’s discharge: Honestly, not sure yet. I’m sure we’ll be working with her team to figure out a sensible come-home plan, but that feels forever away right now.

Noveber 20 – Dental Surgery: The doc said that the process for fixing my tooth could take up to a year of various procedures, so I also asked that my dental surgery be postponed until after I get home from Reach. That should be fine unless the infection comes back (pray it doesn’t). It’s going to costs thousands of dollars, so any financial help – especially monthly donors – would be a gift.

Potentially Huge Ministry News!

An elder at the church I attend pulled me aside on Sunday to ask how they can help—not only with me personally, but ministry-wise. I laid my cards on the table and told him I need another church to partner with me through 2026. Instead of the usual confusion or “we can’t,” he said, “Send me the info and I’ll bring it to the church meeting on Wednesday night.” The next day my New Ventures contact offered to walk him through the details so they know what’s up. If they decide to sponsor me, it would be a huge load off my mind.

How to Pray

• For Anita: continued healing and thriving; that she keeps leaning into the process.
• For me: some space to get away or a pocket of time to focus on my own health.
• For our kids: that they’d take time to heal, too. There’s a lot of breath-holding with all the uncertainty. Having the 60 days lets us exhale. Now we want to use this time to pursue our own healing as individuals and as a family.

Future Updates

Anita is talking about sharing more of her story with people, so I may be able to share that in the future. Unless there’s something specific to share, the best way to get updates will be:

• My blog (I’ll keep posting here), and
• My regular streams once I’m back.

Thank you, again, for your prayers, generosity, and encouragement. You’re helping us get to the other side of something that felt impossible a few weeks ago.