A while back, I shared a story with my stream community and want to share it with you, too. It was something of a spiritual “vision” I had one day while praying for direction. (I’m a pretty conservative guy, but I’ve been learning more about listening to God, and He has only done this, maybe 3-4 times in my life.)

In it, I was walking down a forest path toward a distant, bright horizon, “bopping” the trees along the way with my hand as I passed. Before long, I came across a cabin in the woods. As I approached, I looked down and saw that my hands were swollen and bleeding.

From the door, a kind, grandfatherly man came out and invited me in for a meal and care. I hesitated, but looking at the state of my hands, I decided to accept his help. Inside, the man methodically bandaged my hands, adding more and more gauze until they looked like two cotton balls at the ends of my arms.

Suddenly, I rushed for the door and ended up in the front yard. I didn’t get back to the path because I knew I needed care, but I wanted to see the horizon while I was being treated. I compromised by sitting on a stump in the yard. The man warned me it wasn’t a good place to stay, but I insisted that if he wanted to help, I’d be right there. Suddenly, I was surrounded by spiders crawling up the stump. As I panicked, the man came over, brushed them off, and invited me back inside.

The Crowd Beyond the Fence

As I stood there hesitating, I looked past the yard and saw a group of people making noise in the distance. My first assumption was that they were mocking me, but as they came into focus, I realized the crowd was full of fellow content creators. They weren’t jeering; they were cheering, encouraging me and saying I should go to the cabin.

I looked at my hands, the path, the cabin, the horizon, and then the man, about to speak, but he spoke first: “You know you can’t reach the horizon, right?”

I looked at him quizically, and he continued: “No one can. It’s unachievable. And, touching every tree along the path won’t work either. What you need right now is to stay here and let me care for you. Then we can talk about where you’re supposed to be headed and how to get there.”

Reluctantly, I reentered the cabin, sat by the fire, and realized I was famished. He brought a bowl of stew over, filled with large pieces of meat and vegetables, and a large spoon. Because of my bandaged hands, I couldn’t hold the spoon, and without a word, he fed me himself. I felt awkward and a little embarrassed, but there was no judgment in his eyes. I felt better, stood up, and thanked him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked. “Back to the path? To the horizon?” I looked down, sheepishly. “Sorry, that’s still impossible,” he said. “Sit down. You need more care.”

The last thing I remember is standing by the door, looking from my hands to the door to the man…

Interpreting the Path

The story is pretty easy to interpret. The trees and the path are the things I’ve been doing over the past five years. The man is God. The cabin is Sabbath rest. The horizon is the “ministry success” I’ve been chasing.

In five years of digital ministry, I’ve tried a LOT of things. I’ve worked 80-hour weeks, started dozens of projects, spoken to crowds, and travelled thousands of miles. I love what I do, but haven’t been making progress lately. In fact, I’ve been regressing.

In mid-July 2025, things were really hopping. I had more opportunities than ever before. Organizations were recognizing my work, new partnerships were forming, speaking and teaching opportunities were stacking up – but, as you know, for every ministry success, my home took damage. By September 2025, the weight of everything, both good and bad, led to burnout. I had to send a bunch of apologies as nearly everything I’d planned was cancelled. It felt extremely unfair.

Before I continue, I want to share a video of me sharing a previous vision God had given me.

I share that with you to give you a bit of context for how I was feeling then and what God was communicating with me. As I prayed about the cabin one, God’s message seems pretty clear:

“Al, you keep looking for a magic ‘tree’ that will be the secret to achieving a goal I never asked of you. You think you need to be the best streamer, digital pastor, entertainer, organizational leader, creator, coach, writer, podcaster, YouTuber… or you’ll be a failure, and I’ll take it all away. You’re chasing impossible things, and it’s making you feel guilty, exhausted, and bitter. Your home life is a weight that almost anyone else would buckle under, even if they weren’t also trying to live as a full-time entrepreneur on a cutting-edge mission field.

Five years ago, you listened when I called you to start a digital ministry. Four years ago, you listened when I called you to start TACO. Then, you blazed forward and exhausted yourself. I shared the Lazy River vision to tell you to slow down, and while you did obey practically, your heart was still unsettled and racing as fast as ever. Son, you’re hurt. You need to let me take care of you, your family, and your ministry. Will you let me?”

What “Simplifying” Looks Like Now

Why am I telling you all this? Because your support is what keeps me going. You need to know where things stand with XtianNinja and TACO.

The Positives:

• I Still Love What I Do: Every day I wake up thankful I get to do this ministry and serve the online community and Christian content creators. There’s no part of me that wants to quit and I’m excited for the future.
• Rethinking Influence: I just kicked off a new cinematic video series (Episode 3 is out!) that I love making and believe it will connect with creators in a unique way.
• TACO Refocus: I recently had a wonderful meeting planning out TACO 2026. We’re “trimming the fat” and moving to an even more creator-centric model. I’m excited to share it with you soon.
• Bio-Doc: The mini-documentary being filmed by Rene from CHRI is coming along and I have some scenes to film in February.
• Home Church Partnership: I recently sent a “white paper” to the church for them to make their final decision, which I think might come soon.

The Challenges:

• Family Health: I am still healing from 2025’s burnout, and Anita continues to struggle with mental health challenges.
• Finances: My partnership with New Ventures ends this month (a loss of 1/3 of my income). Additionally, if my home church chooses not to partner with me, my ability to accept donations through the Alliance ends in March.
• Loss of Momentum: There’s been a noticeable shift in my analytics over the past few months, presumably because of my inconsistencies. I’m trying to get back to some kind of rhythm, but it’s not easy with cotton-ball hands.

Sitting in the Cabin

Normally, I’d go “bop some trees” just to feel productive, but I know that won’t work anymore. This is God’s work and will require God’s power. I find it unlikely that He would miraculously provide for five straight years only to let it end because the enemy kicked my family in the gut and traditional church structures didn’t know where to put me.

I know there’s a plan, but I’m not wise or strong enough to know what it is. My job right now is to stay in the cabin long enough to hear it. What does that look like? I plan to keep to my regular stream schedule, meetings, and other normal stuff – but I think some things are going to go by the wayside as I set down my own goals to focus on God’s. Translated: I’m not sure, but I ain’t quittin’.

Thanks for taking the time to give this a read and for your continued support and encouragement.