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A Year of Contrasts (2025 XtianNinja Year-In-Review)
Reflecting on 2025 is complicated because it has been a year of profound contrast. In the same year, I’ve spoken on global stages and sat alone with a heavy, broken heart. My channel started the year with great momentum but ended with the lowest numbers I’ve seen in four years. At the beginning of…
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Descheneau Family Update: A Miracle of Provision and the Next Step in Anita’s Care
Over the weekend, God provided in ways I can hardly believe. In just three days, we raised over $17,000 of the $27,000 needed for Anita’s treatment. That’s nothing short of miraculous. It means we’re able to secure her place at Valiant and she moves in tomorrow. An unfortunate surprise came when I was told…
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My Family Is Breaking: We Need Urgent Help
You’ve seen my struggles on stream. What you haven’t seen is the hidden battle my wife Anita has been fighting for years. Now her doctors say there’s one chance left for real healing. We need urgent help: https://www.givesendgo.com/GJNMD
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Where is God When Things Don’t Get Better?
This week on Wellness Wednesday, we explored a difficult but important reality: What do we do when things don’t get better? So many people in our digital community are struggling—whether with mental health, relationships, unanswered prayers, or just the weight of life—and they’re looking for real answers. My mission with Wellness Wednesday is to…
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Crowdsourcing a Complicated Emotional Situation – Stream Stories
Listen to “Stream Story” Podcast Episodes here: It came out of nowhere, completely unplanned. We were in the middle of playing NieR:Automata—a game full of philosophical questions and complex moral choices—when a viewer named “Kit the Dragon” started pouring out a complicated and emotional situation: “My housemate admitted they have feelings for me, and…
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A First Responder’s Story of Tragedy and Trauma – Stream Stories
Listen to “Stream Story” Podcast Episodes here: As a digital pastor with a livestream, I often find myself suddenly hearing stories full of real, raw human emotion—that leave a deep impact on both me and my community. Recently, a police officer opened up during one of my streams, sharing the heart-wrenching account of a…
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Why ComicCon Made Me Cry: The Heartbreaking Reality For Some Who Attend (and What We Can Do)
I’ve always looked forward to ComicCon, but this year, it was more than just an event for me. It became a window into a deeper truth. In fact, telling this story has brought me to tears twice this week. Over the past couple of years, I’ve been able to bring some young people with…
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Anxiety Meds, Intrusive Thoughts, Mental Health Compassion: Moments from This Week’s Streams
So many things happen during a week of livestreams that it would be impossible for me to make them into separate YouTube videos or articles – but are too exciting to keep to myself. My plan is to gather some of the best segments and provide links so you can come and watch the…
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Can Anyone Ever Actually Feel “Peace” in this Troubled World?
Everyone in the world wants “peace” – but when we try to make it ourselves it doesn’t seem to work very well or last very long. How does the peace that Jesus promises us in the Bible differ from the peace we keep trying to make for ourselves? Podcast Version: https://anchor.fm/xtianninja/episodes/Can-Anyone-Ever-Actually-Feel-Peace-in-this-Troubled-World-e1ikg2v I split my…
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You Shouldn’t Trust Yourself Most of the Time (Daily Devo)
Most of the time we believe the thoughts that bounce around our heads, thinking that our beliefs, opinions, perspectives, and ideas are right and best. Mature people know that’s not true and have realized that we really can’t trust our own hearts and minds. Podcast Version: https://anchor.fm/xtianninja/episodes/You-Shouldnt-Trust-Yourself-Most-of-the-Time-e1ihgn8 I split my YouTube channels, so if…
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Such an Original Experience! Fighting Through the Creative Side of the Brain (Figment – Part 3)
The artistic interpretation of someone’s creative side was amazing – and seeing what the corruption of depression and sadness had done to it was quite moving. Check out my Livestreams: http://www.twitch.tv/XtianNinja Game Summary: Figment is an action-adventure puzzle game where you battle nightmares and various mental illnesses that are taking over someone’s brain as…
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This Game is Special: Figment Series (Part 1 & 2)
Figment is an action-adventure puzzle game where you battle nightmares and various mental illnesses that are taking over someone’s brain as a result of facing a terrible trauma. It sounds super serious – but it’s actually a fun, interesting, and really touching story – that has some of the best game music I’ve ever…
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Standing on the Shoulders of Giants, How Christians Can Deal with Anxiety, Walking Between The Lions (PP 6.3)
In this week’s episode I share an interesting idea about how we all stand on the shoulders of giants, an interesting article about how Christians can deal with anxiety, and continue our interesting study of Pilgrims Progress by exploring more of the sixth chapter when Christian meets the lions. Interesting Links:– Article: https://tabletalkmagazine.com/article/2021/05/living-faithfully-with-anxiety/ – Pilgrim’s…
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Why You Keep Falling Apart: How to Stop Being Afraid of Your Life
Living in fear that if anything goes wrong your mind and body will react like it’s the end of the world and you’ll end up losing all the progress you’ve made is a terrible way to live. It stops you from trying new things, meeting new people, and leaving your comfort zone. Here are…
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When Your Past Hurts Your Present, Saul Did Not Become Paul, The Hill of Difficulty (PP 6.1)
This week, I share an interesting idea about how your past trauma doesn’t need to dictate your present feelings, an interesting article about how Saul didn’t actually turn into Paul, and an interesting study of Pilgrims Progress by exploring the sixth chapter where Christian begins up the Hill of Difficulty. Interesting Links:– Article: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/no-saul-the-persecutor-did-not-become-paul-the-apostle/– Twitch:…
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Elijah: A Nature Like Ours – Burnout, Depression & The Let-Down Effect
Turn with me to 1 Kings 18:1–40 and I want to read two stories about the prophet Elijah today, but we need to read a large section so we can get the whole story. A lot has already happened up to this point, but you’ll figure out how things are going as we…
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Where Do You Turn For Comfort? (HC: LD1)
Audio: Text: Introduction Most of you know that my family has been going through a tough time lately, but I know we’re not alone. Many people here today are going through difficult, confusing, painful times. It’s been heartening for us, as a church family, to spend time talking to one another about the struggles…
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Christians & Depression III: Jesus Knows How You Feel
Sermon Audio: Sermon Text: We’ve been talking for the past few weeks about Mental Illness and Depression, something that is all too common in our community. We’ve talked about what Depression is, what causes it, and a bit of what it’s like to live with it. Last week we talked about the stigma of…
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Christians & Depression II: Fighting The Stigma
*Sorry, no audio. Tattoos & Human Branding I don’t have any tattoos, but I know lots of people who do – and a few that don’t have one yet but want one. As far as the Bible goes, there’s no problem with getting or having a tattoo, so long as it’s not done in…
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How Do I Deal with Depression? (Burning Questions Series #4)
The Kickstarter for my new book is coming along very well! I’m 80% of the way to my goal, praise God! The special prizes for backers are coming along well too. Check them out under “Updates”. I still need your help to push it over the top though. Please consider pledging and sending this link to your…